You don't have to believe everything you think
Big ideas from a spiritual thought leader
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar - Thich Nhat Hanh
Buddhists say that anytime we experience a negative event in our lives, two arrows fly our way. Being physically struck by an arrow is painful. Being struck by a second emotional arrow is even more painful (suffering).
The Buddha explained, “In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.
Can you avoid the second arrow, i.e. suffering? Can you choose not to suffer?
Sharing big ideas from Joseph Nguyen’s book “Don’t believe everything you think”, where he explains that if we can just stop thinking about our thoughts, we may end our suffering.
Reality is that the event happened, with no meaning, thinking, or interpretation of it. It’s not about the events that happen in our lives, but our interpretation of them, which causes us to feel good or bad about something.
Our feelings do not come from external events, but from our own thinking about the events. Therefore, we can only ever feel what we are thinking.
Our thoughts are a complex mix of experiences, biases, fears, and aspirations, shaped by our past, societal influences, and upbringing. You’ll be surprised to realise how many of these thoughts have no real relation to reality—most are illogical, just patterns we’ve inherited.
1. The Root Cause of Suffering
Nguyen asserts that suffering originates not from external events but from our thoughts about those events. This perspective suggests that detaching from our thoughts can reduce suffering, as thoughts create our perception of reality. When we let go of unnecessary thinking, we reconnect with our natural state of peace.
We only suffer when we believe our thoughts are true.
2. Thoughts vs. Thinking
In Joseph Nguyen’s view, “thoughts” are natural, spontaneous occurrences, while “thinking” is the act of analyzing or dwelling on those thoughts.
Thinking often leads to suffering by layering additional meaning or judgments onto neutral thoughts. Simply observing thoughts without engaging can lead to inner peace.
3. Letting Go of the Need for Control
Nguyen emphasizes that many people suffer because they try to control every aspect of life, which is impossible.
By letting go and trusting in “Infinite Intelligence” or the universe, individuals can reduce anxiety and stress, as they no longer feel pressured to manage everything.
True peace lies in letting go, not in controlling every aspect of life.
4. Fear as a Guide
Fear signals areas of growth, Nguyen explains. While thinking often amplifies fear, approaching it as a necessary part of personal development can shift its role. Embracing fear and moving through it allows individuals to access new possibilities on the other side.
Embrace fear—it’s just the edge of your growth.
5. Living in Flow
Nguyen describes flow as a state where thoughts are minimal, and actions are effortless. In this non-thinking state, individuals experience heightened creativity, productivity, and joy. Instead of forcing thoughts, allowing a natural flow leads to an optimal state of living.
Flow is when thoughts pass through without attachment.
6. Unconditional Creation
The author introduces the concept of “unconditional creation,” where we create not for fame, money, or validation but purely for the joy of creation itself. When motivations are unconditional, we connect more deeply with our purpose and experience fulfillment from within.
7. Emotions as Internal Guidance
Emotions are feedback mechanisms, reflecting whether we’re aligned with truth or stuck in limiting thoughts. Negative emotions suggest a disconnection from reality, whereas positive emotions indicate harmony with life’s natural flow. Nguyen encourages using emotions as indicators to return to a peaceful state.
8. The Value of Non-Thinking Environments
Our environment can support a state of non-thinking, Nguyen argues. A peaceful setting reduces mental noise and helps maintain clarity. He recommends removing distractions and creating spaces conducive to a calm mind, enhancing our ability to connect with our natural state of being.
9. The Illusion of Duality
Nguyen explores the concept that labeling things as “good” or “bad” only strengthens dualistic thinking, which keeps us in a state of separation. By seeing events neutrally, we avoid the judgment and expectations that lead to dissatisfaction.
10. Inner Peace Beyond Others’ Actions
According to Nguyen, our peace of mind need not depend on others’ behavior. The author suggests viewing others’ actions neutrally and not allowing them to disrupt our inner peace. When we maintain equanimity, we preserve our mental well-being regardless of external circumstances.
11. Embracing the Unknown
Nguyen advocates embracing the unknown, where infinite possibilities lie. The mind seeks familiarity, but true growth happens in uncharted territory. By choosing to step into the unknown, we open ourselves to new experiences and reduce the mind’s hold on us.
12. Practical Non-Thinking Techniques
Nguyen provides a framework for entering a non-thinking state, such as setting aside time for peaceful practices and self-reflection.
By recognizing when we are “thinking too much,” we can consciously shift back to non-thinking, experiencing the natural peace that follows.
Get the book if you wanna go deep (a simple read, but thought provoking for sure).